Home > Fiction, Horror > Why Zombies are Fake – Definitive Proof!

Why Zombies are Fake – Definitive Proof!

When a zombie bites you, a psychic connection is formed between you and the dead creature. If you squint, and only if you squint, you can see it. If your friends squint, they can see it, too. It pulsates, writhes around, like a tongue and an intestine patch-worked together. It is stitched onto your wound, attached at the other end down the creature’s throat somewhere inside of it. Maybe it’s bit other people; dozens of entrails pouring out from its mouth in every direction.

It is dead, transmitting thoughts and feelings to you and all its victims. Until you die, you will feel your own thoughts and emotions slowly replaced by frazzled nonsense from a broken mind. Nonsensical images formed by snapped synapses will flood your own vision, logic will be replaced by need, and your family will be replaced by cemetery emotions.

“Dear God, place me beneath the earth. Please, just bury me!”

If the creature is killed, the tether linking the two of you will cease to grow. You will have to drag the creature, sharing it with however many other people are still living, still attached. Psychic pus will continue to leak, along with fecal matter, scabs, and blood, until finally you are dead from poison and born as death.

Naturally, this can’t happen, so it’s all a load of total bullshit. Zombies are garbage.

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Categories: Fiction, Horror
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